


Remember

by WhoInWhoville



Series: The TARDIS Blue JazzVerse [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Bad Wolf Bay, But still I got A LOT of flack for it, Don't kill me I was a fandom BABY, End of Time, F/M, Ian Wilfred Smith, It's one of the reasons I haven't put the JazzVerse back up, JazzVerse, Journey's End, RAGING ANGST, Regeneration, is an AWESOME NAME though, oops I named TenToo, the parting of the ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9769589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: Collection of 100 word drabbles. Ten's regeneration is imminent. He reflects back on his time with Rose.





	1. Long ago... far away...

**Author's Note:**

> Collection of 100 Word Drabbles based on Harry Nilsson's amazing song, "Remember."
> 
> Serious angst warning. I wrote this as my husband was in surgery back in 2011 -- he was extremely ill, and in danger of going septic, and losing his foot due to an infection after a simple ankle surgery a week before. I was in a very bad, bad, bad place. LOL. Thankfully, he was fine. 
> 
> Additionally, I wrote this as I was writing the JazzVerse, my TenToo x Rose series. I committed a cardinal Ficandchips sin, but I didn't know it at the time. I... errrr, named TenToo. Hey. I think Ian Noble Smith is a fantastic name! And these stories were pretty darn popular on fanfic.net. But alas, I did get pushback once I posted them to Teaspoon. This is the reason I haven't put them back up with my other work. Additionally, they are pretty rough. They are the first fanfic I wrote.

_Long ago, far away…_

The burn is building. Not much _time_ left. Ironic, that.

Just one more stop.

Midnight…New Year’s Eve.

Seems like yesterday that he was just here.

Feels like millennia since she was so young.

He remembers…

…so I took her to the end of the earth. Now _that_ was far away…

_“Where are you from?! Tell me who you are! … So just tell me!”_

Bad memories. War wounds. Didn’t want to remember.

_Help me? Help me forget, please? Forget the flames? The anguished cries?_

_You helped me forget the flames. The anguished cries. My sins._

He remembered how it began.


	2. Life Was Clear... Close Your Eyes...

**_Life was clear, close your eyes…_ **

He found a shadowy spot in the courtyard and remembered…

Her timeline shifted as he peered through the cat door.

_“What are you doing here?”_

_“I live here!”_

_“Well what’d you do that for?”_

He smiled. _“Rude and not ginger…”_

She had to come with him.

_“I can’t.”_

He had to change her mind. 

So he came up with eleven words:

_“Bye the way, did I mention? It also travels in time.”_

He closed his eyes and winced in pain.

He waited.

Obscured in the shadows.

He waited for her to come.

He remembered.


	3. Remember... Is a Place From Long Ago

**_Remember…is a place from long ago…_ **

He remembered the snow crunching underfoot…just like tonight…

_“What happens in 1860?”_

_“I don’t know. Let’s find out!”_

_“You can go back and see days that are dead and gone…No wonder you never stay still…”_

_“Not a bad life…”_

_“Better with two!”_

He told her she was beautiful…for a human. Rude. Again.

He lectured her about different morality. But in the end, her morality had trumped his, hadn’t it?

She was right: it was _so much_ better with two…

She challenged his morality.

He gave her fantastic glimpses of places long ago.

He remembered.


	4. Remember... Filled With Everything You Know

**_Remember…filled with everything you know_ **

Time continued to tick away. Soon it would be midnight. The snow drifted down, down…

He knew… 

…timelines, and sometimes, they drove him mad.

…he wanted her safe, so thrice he sent her away.

…she wanted him safe. He was her Doctor. Thrice she came back: once burning with time, twice shattering the walls of the universes.

…what kind of man he was. He was very, very lucky.

...she promised him forever.

…she loved him.

…how that sentence was going to end. His Other Self spoke for Them both.

…his song was ending. He remembered.


	5. Remember... When You're Sad and Feeling Down

**_Remember…when you’re sad and feeling down…_ **

He leaned against the cold wall, pulling his coat around him like death shroud. He remembered…

_“Your friend? What was her name?”_

_“Rose. Her name is Rose.”_

Not was. 

IS!

Universe of difference between IS and WAS.

Very, very much alive…living a life day in and day out with…me…

She’s alright, right?

He gave her Him…He gave Him, Her…

He gave himself…

_“You’re still you?”_

_“Why would I want to change, just look at me!”_

_“I look like him, and I think like him, same memories, same thoughts, same everything…”_

And still he remembered…


	6. Remember... Turn Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on, these drabbles reference my TARDIS Blue JazzVerse at times, specifically my story “Another Really Great Year," which isn't posted. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Character Key, because I realize this may be confusing:_
> 
>  
> 
> “Other Him” – Fully Time Lord Doctor
> 
> “He” – TenToo

**_Remember…turn around…_ **

From the shadows He made a sound. She turned around. They remembered…

The Other Him didn’t say goodbye. The Other Him wouldn’t turn around. 

He would never make that mistake, because he would never walk away from her.

It was confusing for both of them.

It would take time to sort it.

Time…something the Other Him had in spades…well, sort of.

Time…something He had in finite measure. He wouldn’t waste a minute.

The Other Him and Him shared a mind, but didn’t talk much. Mostly highlights...

They were very so very happy, married, had a son.

They remembered…


	7. Remember... Life Is Just a Memory

**_Remember…life is just a memory_ **

He shuddered as he felt the building burn on his skin against the frozen air, and he remembered…

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Ten…Too? Certainly not Eleven.

“I love the hand! My handy spare hand…”

“I grew…out of you!”

The other him was, what? 

Created? Born? Grown? Regenerated? Made? 

He was gloriously alive.

A fresh new life, but not like a newborn babe.

“You’re naked!”

“Oh yes!”

With his memories.

With his brain.

“I only have one life to live, and I could spend it with you…Rose Tyler.”

They remembered…


	8. Remember... Close Your Eyes and You Can See

**_Remember…close your eyes and you can see…_ **

He closed his eyes as he kept his vigil, shivering in the shadows. He remembered…

_“My head…it’s killin’ me…”_

_“I think you need a doctor…”_

He closed his eyes. 

He touched his lips to hers and removed the pain of time…

She closed her eyes, as she choked through the words.

_“I…I love you…”_

He closed his eyes as the sun burnt out…the sentence without an end, hanging in space.

She closed her eyes, grabbed his blue lapels, and kissed him blind.

He kept his eyes open and he watched himself. He remembered.


	9. Remember... Think Of All That Life Can Be

**_Remember…think of all that life can be…remember…_ **

The burn continued to build. Wouldn’t be much longer now. He remembered.

_“That’s what I see. All the time. And doesn’t it drive you mad?”_

He knew what was coming.

_“All that is, all that was, all that ever could be…”_

She saw it too, but wouldn’t remember.

_“How come there are two of you?”_

He knew they were the same. Well, same…enough.

New New Him remembered knowing this was gonna happen, this fantastic life he never ever never dared dreamed he could have. And New New Him grabbed it.

And they remembered.


	10. Dream... Love Is Only In a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the JazzVerse, Rose and Tentoo had a bit of a rocky start. (No other romantic entanglements, just a lack of understanding and belief. "She forgave," references that, however, I can't remember what she forgave!!! LOLOLLL. I'm sure it made sense at the time, so don't hate me.

**_Dream…love is only in a dream…_ **

No more waiting. She was here. He remembered.

_“…a really great year…”_

They forgave, their love was renewed. 

She’d asked him, cheeky girl.

A kilt. A white dress. A stone chapel. 

Their bond was forged under the starry Scottish sky.

Dancing. Fish and chips. Banana cake. Edible ball bearings.

Time-stopping passion.

Flash ahead one year. New life planted.

Flash ahead one year. Tonight.

No more remembering. 

Instead, he would give…


	11. Remember... Remember... Life Is Never As It Seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the JazzVerse, Ten sent himself -- his mind and soul -- across the Void and merged with his metacrisis self. (It was my way of dealing with Eleven's seeming forgetting Rose. I wrote this during Eleven's first season.) This was also a nod to WhoMe's really wonderful headcanon.

**_Remember! Remember! Life is never as it seems!_ **

New New Him woke up. New New Him knew.

Other Him was in his mind, and he was burning, but holding on with every last bit of strength he had.

Regeneration – a rather polite term for _dying_.

_“I want you to tell her the words. From me.”_

_“I will. But she knows...”_

_“I want to give you some of myself…make you more…me…”_

Wasn’t even sure how he did it…his magnificent, faithful companion helped. Sent time across the VOID. Impossible!

_“Never say never ever.”_

_“I do six impossible things before breakfast!”_

They remembered.


	12. Dream...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to WhoMe, and her wonderful, "But the Story Never Ends".

**_Dream…_ **

Farewell.

Faltering.

Singing.

Stumbling.

_“We will sing to you. The Universe will sing you to your sleep.”_

_“But the story never ends…”_

_“I don’t want to go!”_

Burning. Burning. Burning. 

Combustion. 

Incineration. 

Regeneration.

Eleven.

Suddenly…

Pain was a dream. 

Grief was a dream.

Sorrow was a dream.

The burning, all-consuming love was gone…transmitted across time and space to the Other Previous Him. 

Completing him. 

No longer a split man. 

One with himself.

And now his memories were soft, glowing, muted. 

Replaced with a warm, shimmering, joyful, light-filled…dream.

Just a beautiful dream. 

He remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with me. This thing hurt to re-read and put back up again. Brought back some super tough memories.


End file.
